she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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