Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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