idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail