Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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  (207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs
  Replies (27) Good night (3515) Bad night (1012)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain

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  (302): I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain http://tfl.nu/18xp
  Replies (22) Good night (1305) Bad night (4255)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.

  (360): View more from Washington

  You're getting good at this, you know that?

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  (206): Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number. (360): You're getting good at this, you know that? http://tfl.nu/w185
  Replies (17) Good night (6939) Bad night (677)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

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  (208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm
  Replies (20) Good night (4050) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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  (814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055
  Replies (49) Good night (1532) Bad night (7667)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.

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  (704): Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes. http://tfl.nu/5rb1
  Replies (50) Good night (6878) Bad night (832)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

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  (+44): He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/yc2p
  Replies (11) Good night (4586) Bad night (1033)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines

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  (603): Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines http://tfl.nu/hhep
  Replies (26) Good night (3895) Bad night (999)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up

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  (410): I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up http://tfl.nu/ucpy
  Replies (7) Good night (2218) Bad night (1174)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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  (248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn
  Replies (50) Good night (998) Bad night (4694)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1443) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.

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  (541): He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans (503): Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants. http://tfl.nu/h1iw
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (421)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

  (647): View more from Ontario

  That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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  (416): He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him! (647): That is always a wonderful personality trait! http://tfl.nu/blbp
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (264)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.

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  (337): I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it. http://tfl.nu/cfzm
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (295)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.

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  (914): Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On. http://tfl.nu/gi02
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (383)

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