Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen