Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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  (507): So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game. http://tfl.nu/nypl
  Replies (58) Good night (802) Bad night (3845)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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  (704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z
  Replies (35) Good night (558) Bad night (4882)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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  (812): Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/9awl
  Replies (59) Good night (2740) Bad night (5061)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

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  (256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed. http://tfl.nu/8aru
  Replies (28) Good night (5183) Bad night (2109)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?

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  (770): If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way? http://tfl.nu/2yix
  Replies (7) Good night (4242) Bad night (1690)
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  (310): View more from California

  You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.

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  (310): You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila. http://tfl.nu/3egv
  Replies (3) Good night (3219) Bad night (933)
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  (650): View more from California

  I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

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  (650): I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar. http://tfl.nu/ituj
  Replies (12) Good night (4765) Bad night (892)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.

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  (404): It's a bathroom floor kind of morning. http://tfl.nu/13m7
  Replies (5) Good night (2306) Bad night (1106)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry

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  (229): No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry http://tfl.nu/1p4e
  Replies (6) Good night (2628) Bad night (940)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.

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  (+27): He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy. http://tfl.nu/pi4j
  Replies (4) Good night (1716) Bad night (872)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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  (440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa
  Replies (6) Good night (2577) Bad night (933)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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  (234): For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well. http://tfl.nu/1g4h
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (900)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this

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  (703): I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this http://tfl.nu/f56c
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (578)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...

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  (214): I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter... http://tfl.nu/te1k
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (300)
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  (818): View more from California

  I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.

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  (818): I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/5z7i
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (229)

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