Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro