So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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