I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
