If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
