I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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