Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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