i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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