If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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