We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
