her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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