He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize