I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
why is half of my head shaved?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
