i barfeds in our rink
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize