I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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