I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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