I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
