tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
