Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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