her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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