there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Shame is for Republicans.
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