I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
