drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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