dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
people are starting to question the shark bite story
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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