Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix