my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
