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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv

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• (253): View more from Washington

  when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Not having phil's child is good enough.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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• (305): View more from Florida

  It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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• (415): View more from California

  Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy

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