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Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She told me I should be a condom model.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
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