i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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