She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
