11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
