Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
