Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
