just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!