It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
