can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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