I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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