the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
