why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
