Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Boobs are out for the taking
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
