me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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