I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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