well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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