Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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