I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
