the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
