Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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