where am i from again
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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