Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Two words: nipple clamps
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