So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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