So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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