If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
