it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
