You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That accounts for only three of the penises
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
