sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
