I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
