when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
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The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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