it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
