2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
