His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize