I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize